gretchen (flutterrgrrl) wrote,
gretchen
flutterrgrrl

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frustrated

I just have to document that i currently hate my life as a non-smoker. I think it's stupid and lame.

It's not that smoking added so much to my life that i'm really hurting without it. It's just that it was one of my simple joys.

Being able to sit down, chill out, have a smoke and relax. What was so bad about that?

And if i had one right now, what would be bad about that? i don't feel any different or better since i quit. The nurse at the clinic (who tells me EVERY time i come in to quit smoking) told me i had gained a few pounds since the last time i'd been there. So it's actually bothering my acid reflux to not smoke due to the weight gain. It's also making me hate my body juuuuust a little more. Thanks ever so! that's real motivation to stay quit.

So i'm saving some money. But i could become a Mal-like occasional smoker and not have it add up to that much.

So, as much as i am so grateful that everyone is being so encouraging, why is it such a great celebration to quit?

booooo. i am cynical today. and working in Member Services makes me regret the quit entirely. =P

i just want to go home from work, have a smoke, have a margarita, and go to bed. what is BAD about that!?

and...AND...even if i quit i can't avoid SECOND HAND SMOKE!! that's just as bad for my asthma. so i can either put it in my body myself or breathe in the shit that's coming off someone else's cigarette or out of their blackened lungs! i mean, COME. ON.

....aaaaand i'm slightly hostile.
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