gretchen (flutterrgrrl) wrote,
gretchen
flutterrgrrl

taken from myspace blog

DONE.

Nicole, I am so sorry that you're having issues with school payments. i had to leave PPU for the same reasons and i would love to cosign for you but i am in debt (school and medical) and my financial situation is much less than ideal, to say the least.

i truly hope that something comes through because you are such an amazing girl with such potential for greatness. fight with everything you've got, my love. there's a way around everything, just remember that. talk to every single financial advisor that you can, there has to be SOME way for you to stay in school. and definitely look into having your status as "dependent on parents" overridden. if you can, that may be your ticket out of this shit.

i love you, keep me posted.

Kuten,...god, i don't even know what to say. to suffer a loss of that magnitude, especially suddenly, has to be devastating to say the least. please know that there are so many people who love and care about you and that if you need anything, there are so many people just waiting to help. all my love and best wishes.

and then for the other side of this. to the people who are constantly whining and crying for attention:

GET OVER IT. i'm so sick of the shit and you needing to the the center of attention. there are people with real problems. you have a choice to make. SO WHAT!? everyone has choices to make!

i went to NY the last few months and made the decision to, if i did get a job out of those auditions, leave my mother (the closest person in the world to me) and my mally, who is, quite possibly, the absolute love of my life. guess what? it was a choice. luckily, i ended up with employment here and a performing contract that kept me close to my loved ones until may.

but had i gotten an offer from a touring job first, i'd be gone by now. why? because people have to do what they have to do. i'm still hoping to be gone after may due to my career. because it's fun? no. because i have to do what's best for my career and become more financially stable.

kara will be leaving here in january to move to DC for a change of job/scene and to be with the man she loves. i will miss her more than words can say, but i absolutely support that decision because, in our adult lives, we have to make decisions that are good for us, even if they are not ideal all around.

my point is that we all have tough patches in our lives, but we deal with them and get over it. we don't air our shit to the world so that people shower us with attention, we make tough decisions and deal with the results, good or bad.

i have the honor of knowing a little girl who just had her 39th surgery due to spina bifida. she had her spinal cord operated on last week. the surgery took 12 hours and she had to lay on her stomach for at least 3 days afterward. this baby is a little ray of sunshine. always happy, always upbeat despite the fact that she is paralyzed from the waist down.

still think your problems are hardcore? still think you have it worse than everyone else?

now, i'm not saying that any of us have it all figured out. i know i don't. but i also don't beg for attention from everyone every time i'm disappointed or annoyed.

as marty said a while ago:
"Look, if you feel like no one wants you around, it's because they probably don't. If there are perpetual issues within your circle(friends, lovers, spouses...whatever) YOU ARE AT LEAST PART OF THE PROBLEM."

i completely agree. and, until this shit stops, i am going to continue to lay low. i am trying so hard to get even my minor shit together and have been so happy and content lately that i can't bring myself to muddy what clarity i have with needless drama.

i also can't understand why anyone would want to perpetuate the parts of their lives that cause them stress! if it makes you upset and frustrated, why would you not want to put an end to that?

i don't know, but i'm done ranting. just know that i love my friends, i do. but when all someone is is a negative force, constantly attempting to bring everyone down with them, i refuse to be a part of that.

my best to all. take care.

xoxo
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