| So... |
[27 Jul 2008|01:42am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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I definitely bawled my eyes out at approximately 11a.m. today. hahahahaha!!
Oh my, stressful! and it wasn't anything anyone did, it was just that i was so mad at myself for not being able to do the choreography correctly.
arg. oh well, today is over. well, not the drinking, but the stress. so all i need now is wine and my initial prediction that that choreography would warrant tears and wine will be correct.
niiiiiiiiice. ;)
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[26 Jul 2008|08:54am] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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About to get my Nazi ass handed to me during "springtime for Hitler".
Check out the tap section in the middle. Because I HAVE TO DO IT. aaaaand i'm not so good at it.
So wish me luck. Oh, and i strained something in my right leg. i dunno exactly what since the pain is radiating through the entire thigh, groin, butt, but it's not fun.
So yeah. Today will be a hoot! ::vomit::
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| yikes... |
[01 Jun 2008|06:47pm] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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| [ |
music |
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Ben folds - all u can eat |
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it's been a REALLY long time.
soooo..list. =P
-+ the tour is over. no more innovating. which is not such a bad thing because i'm ready for a new project. problem is that "the producers" doesn't start for another 7 weeks. =P
-+ me and mally broked up.
+++ we're still bestest friends.
- i miss kara
---- i need to get a dress for kara's wedding. =/
+ me and NAR are going to see Gnarls Barkley and the Raconteurs the week i get back from WVPT. =)
-+ got an email asking me to come to NY for a callback for the national non-equity tour of "Oliver!". i replied to said email. i have not gotten anything back. can't book transportation without confirmation of appointment! arg.
and that's seriously about it. all those months and that's it.
i feel all antsy today for some reason. eh, weird.
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| oh my... |
[15 Mar 2008|02:21am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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the producers - we can do it |
] |
aaaaaaaaand my day job, folks.
enjoy. and feel free to be slightly appalled. ;) haha
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[02 Mar 2008|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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Rules: The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in awhile.
1. I got paid to do NOTHING at work today.
2. We have three shows tomorrow. $$$
3. My mally. =)
4. Vince and I have formed an even tighter bond.
5. Once i figure out my schedule, me and TL are going to make plans!
6. St. Patrick's day is close.
7. I slept for 12 hours on Saturday. it was AMAZING.
8. I am getting a car. now for the license...=P
9. I have amazing friends.
10. Mal and I had an awesome dinner date at Joe's Crab Shack last night. We ate till crab legs and shrimp came out of our ears!...but not really. that would be gross. =P
so whoever wants to share even little moments of happiness, copy, fill in, and repost.
xoxo
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[14 Feb 2008|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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quote of the night:
me: pinchin your loooooove handle!!!
mally: ow! there's no love there!
hahaha. that made me happy.
so does anyone want to go to bonaroo with me?? mal is being a douche and is on the fence about it. but i wanna go!! come on, humans! let's have fun in TN!! =)
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[24 Dec 2007|11:05pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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i'm soooooo sick of doing mass text messages for holidays...
so to all my dear friends who are absolutely amazing and irreplaceable, i hope you have safe and happy holiday season! =)
love and kisses!
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| SWEENEY TODD |
[22 Dec 2007|01:19am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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was the absolute biggest waste of my time and money i have ever seen.
TONS of music cut, needless and bad scenes added, a musical full of people who are attrocious singers...
it was infuriating.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAD.
i will post about this in detail later as i want to reflect on it after i see the show (judy kaye! eeeeeeee!!!) but it was painful.
wish i had better news,...but NO.
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| frustrated |
[11 Dec 2007|03:55pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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I just have to document that i currently hate my life as a non-smoker. I think it's stupid and lame.
It's not that smoking added so much to my life that i'm really hurting without it. It's just that it was one of my simple joys.
Being able to sit down, chill out, have a smoke and relax. What was so bad about that?
And if i had one right now, what would be bad about that? i don't feel any different or better since i quit. The nurse at the clinic (who tells me EVERY time i come in to quit smoking) told me i had gained a few pounds since the last time i'd been there. So it's actually bothering my acid reflux to not smoke due to the weight gain. It's also making me hate my body juuuuust a little more. Thanks ever so! that's real motivation to stay quit.
So i'm saving some money. But i could become a Mal-like occasional smoker and not have it add up to that much.
So, as much as i am so grateful that everyone is being so encouraging, why is it such a great celebration to quit?
booooo. i am cynical today. and working in Member Services makes me regret the quit entirely. =P
i just want to go home from work, have a smoke, have a margarita, and go to bed. what is BAD about that!?
and...AND...even if i quit i can't avoid SECOND HAND SMOKE!! that's just as bad for my asthma. so i can either put it in my body myself or breathe in the shit that's coming off someone else's cigarette or out of their blackened lungs! i mean, COME. ON.
....aaaaand i'm slightly hostile.
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| taken from myspace blog |
[30 Nov 2007|04:45am] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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DONE.
Nicole, I am so sorry that you're having issues with school payments. i had to leave PPU for the same reasons and i would love to cosign for you but i am in debt (school and medical) and my financial situation is much less than ideal, to say the least.
i truly hope that something comes through because you are such an amazing girl with such potential for greatness. fight with everything you've got, my love. there's a way around everything, just remember that. talk to every single financial advisor that you can, there has to be SOME way for you to stay in school. and definitely look into having your status as "dependent on parents" overridden. if you can, that may be your ticket out of this shit.
i love you, keep me posted.
Kuten,...god, i don't even know what to say. to suffer a loss of that magnitude, especially suddenly, has to be devastating to say the least. please know that there are so many people who love and care about you and that if you need anything, there are so many people just waiting to help. all my love and best wishes.
and then for the other side of this. to the people who are constantly whining and crying for attention:
GET OVER IT. i'm so sick of the shit and you needing to the the center of attention. there are people with real problems. you have a choice to make. SO WHAT!? everyone has choices to make!
i went to NY the last few months and made the decision to, if i did get a job out of those auditions, leave my mother (the closest person in the world to me) and my mally, who is, quite possibly, the absolute love of my life. guess what? it was a choice. luckily, i ended up with employment here and a performing contract that kept me close to my loved ones until may.
but had i gotten an offer from a touring job first, i'd be gone by now. why? because people have to do what they have to do. i'm still hoping to be gone after may due to my career. because it's fun? no. because i have to do what's best for my career and become more financially stable.
kara will be leaving here in january to move to DC for a change of job/scene and to be with the man she loves. i will miss her more than words can say, but i absolutely support that decision because, in our adult lives, we have to make decisions that are good for us, even if they are not ideal all around.
my point is that we all have tough patches in our lives, but we deal with them and get over it. we don't air our shit to the world so that people shower us with attention, we make tough decisions and deal with the results, good or bad.
i have the honor of knowing a little girl who just had her 39th surgery due to spina bifida. she had her spinal cord operated on last week. the surgery took 12 hours and she had to lay on her stomach for at least 3 days afterward. this baby is a little ray of sunshine. always happy, always upbeat despite the fact that she is paralyzed from the waist down.
still think your problems are hardcore? still think you have it worse than everyone else?
now, i'm not saying that any of us have it all figured out. i know i don't. but i also don't beg for attention from everyone every time i'm disappointed or annoyed.
as marty said a while ago:
"Look, if you feel like no one wants you around, it's because they probably don't. If there are perpetual issues within your circle(friends, lovers, spouses...whatever) YOU ARE AT LEAST PART OF THE PROBLEM."
i completely agree. and, until this shit stops, i am going to continue to lay low. i am trying so hard to get even my minor shit together and have been so happy and content lately that i can't bring myself to muddy what clarity i have with needless drama.
i also can't understand why anyone would want to perpetuate the parts of their lives that cause them stress! if it makes you upset and frustrated, why would you not want to put an end to that?
i don't know, but i'm done ranting. just know that i love my friends, i do. but when all someone is is a negative force, constantly attempting to bring everyone down with them, i refuse to be a part of that.
my best to all. take care.
xoxo
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[21 Nov 2007|01:28pm] |
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Happy Birthday, my Nicole. I loves you dearly and can't wait to take you out to celebrate! however, your present will have to wait till christmas as i barely have enough money to feed myself at the moment.
yeah, i suck.
and, for the record, i was going to post this last night but i passed out with a migraine. a migraine i woke up with. =P
my brain sucks today.
and now i am off to get poked by billions of needles. i love allergy testing!!! ::vomit::
have a good day, everyone!
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[05 Nov 2007|01:41pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
] |
some random thoughts:
I have no idea what you're trying to do but all you're actually doing is pissing people off and treating people badly.
i'm sick of hearing about it and so is everybody else, i promise you. you would seriously do well to SHUT UP. it's about all you can do to redeem yourself at this point.
and that's all the anger i gots!
and in other news:
+++ i got a show with CLO!! It's the Incredibly Innovative Innovators show and it runs from January - May and i can pay my bills doing theater. yeeeees. =) and the cast is great which makes this even more glorious.
++ mally is wonderful.
++ congrats chris and christy! it's about time there, sir. ;)
- i fukking hate winter. and being cold.
+ sasha and sherae ([sha-ray] the step cats) are asses. and they make me giggle. and sherae likes to meow at me and then crawl into my lap. it's neurotic and cute. =)
+ zero j. cat is amazing and the kitty love of my life.
+ spending halloween with steve, dame, shrew, and beautiful little mason james. he was a skeleton. =)
+ congrats nicole on the art show going well. =) and thanks to randy for making that happen!
+ dinner with nicole and kara.
+ gobblerito and apple cider margarita at Mad Mex with the Mal. mmmmmmm...mexi mal...
------ allergy testing on wednesday. eeeeeeeew.
and i think that's about it. me and mal finally got to do nothing on sunday and it was GLORIOUS. i've never been more excited about sitting around.
and that's about it. me and mally are going to eat and go to home depot before the game. then i'll watch him fix up the new den while i go over my music for the work through of the show tomorrow.
god, i'm boring. hope everyone is well. =)
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| yikes. busy last week. |
[14 Oct 2007|10:35pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
] |
i'm using the NAR format. many thanks to her.
- not being able to sing Hopsice benefit.
+ staying right on schedule getting to NY
+ staying with jen. =)
- Disney dance call
+++ Disney singing call and getting a callback!!
+ good take-out sushi
- not getting an application for employment
---------------- flight being cancelled after 6.5 HOURS ON THE PLANE. rescheduling my flight.
+ seeing manders and sleeping on her wonderful couch. =)
+ CLO rescheduling my audition for the next day
+ finding $20 on the street in brooklyn
+ making it home safe, sound, and on time.
+++ fantastic CLO Christmas Carol audition
++ meeting kara for coffee and much needed talkin.
- not making any money at work (and my friends tipping me WAY TOO MUCH! =P)
+ Kara and Chris coming in for breakfast. =)
+++ seeing my cousins Bethany, brian, patrick, and miranda and seeing what good kids they are.
--- seeing my cousins Abby and Danny and seeing what mean, hateful people they are.
+ going out with mally's work friends and having a good time.
+ snugglin. =)
+ cheap wings at the Ugly Dog.
+ another CLO audition tomorrow.
and, finally +++++++ nicole starting her new job tomorrow. =)
fin.
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[14 Sep 2007|02:22am] |
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so if there is anyone out there who has never seen an episode of "Six Feet Under", watch it.
become obsessed with it.
it is seriously the most brilliant series i have ever seen. i just watched the series finale and have now officially seen every episode.
so brilliant it should be illegal.
i can't say it enough. it's genius. just had to put that out there.
fin.
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| blah |
[06 Sep 2007|04:42am] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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audition monday.
i might vomit.
...i'll update again when i get home.
have a good rest of the week/weekend, everyone. =P
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[29 Aug 2007|05:29am] |
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mood |
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scared |
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p.s. i have an audition for the CLO Cabaret on Thursday and i have to audition for a STEPHEN SCHWARTZ workshop.
::vomit::
and...AND...I have to sing one of his songs. such a sickening feeling. for those of you who aren't theater nerds, he wrote Pippin, Godspell, Wicked, The Magic Show, The Baker's Wife, Children of Eden, did the music for Pocahontas, and i'm sure i'm forgetting some.
I am terrified. The thing is, i've never worked for CLO before so it may be hard to get them to notice me and i'm starting to feel even more average than usual in the theater scene in this city.
TONS of auditions are coming up and i really feel that if i don't get anything this year (it's my first year to really audition since i'm not in school, btw) i may just start looking for a new career choice.
i don't know. maybe the one thing i love to do more than anything in the world, i'm just not GOOD enough to be doing more seriously than i have been. like, it can be a hobby, but that's all i can make of it.
we shall see, i suppose.
but maybe i'll look back on this and smile later when things go better than expected. oh well, no matter how it goes at least i'm finally being honest with myself. i guess. =P
UPDATE: it's 3/15/08 and i looked back on this entry and laaaaaughed. SO i did get work this year. i'm doing "the incredibly innovative innovators of pittsburgh" 5 days/week. full time theater work.
i went to NY to a "hairspray" open call and had 2 callbacks for Tracy. booyah.
and i most certainly did NOT get that Schwartz workshop. also, that was so not the CLO Cabaret. that was the pittsburgh cabaret at the renaissance next to the byham.
i sang my face off and only doug levine seemed to care even a little. whatever, not every audition matters.
so yeah, i'm over being intimidated. especially in the PGH theater scene. if there's anything i've learned since this entry it's that there are more people in PGH theater that can talk a good game than can actually deliver.
i would rather deliver than run my mouth about it. but that's just me. =P
so yeah. that made me giggle.
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| thoughts... |
[29 Aug 2007|05:08am] |
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mood |
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hm. so what did i write last time? oh that's right. "GET. OVER. YOUR. SELVES."
well, i take it back because the person that was intended for did nothing to deserve it. someone else decided to outcast and isolate that person. i love the person who made this decision and understand their anger and bitterness, but please don't choose sides for me, sweetie.
it's not necessary and now it puts me in the awkward position of "making amends" with that person (even though i think we're okay and i did nothing i should need to make amends FOR) and it makes you look petty. so i also get to rectify it while avoiding adressing the fact that it was actually you who took that action.
whatever you want to do, fine. but keep me out of it. i don't need drama and wish everyone well. i am totally behind you in all your endeavors and want nothing more that to see you be happy and successful, but i won't be a part of your anger against the "other side".
by the way, please stop assuming that everything is about you. i don't speak to you, see you, or worry about what you're doing. you, obviously, don't like me and, i assume, never have. and that is fine. but you don't make a difference in my life. you don't effect me in any way and, frankly, i don't care enough about you to worry about what you do. i don't mean that to be rude, but it's the honest truth. i'm glad your life is going in the direction that you want it to go. that's a beautiful thing. but when i post in MY journal, i say what i feel and it has to do with the people in my life. the people i love (who are sometimes the people i'm upset with and it's not like i don't tell them that in person) and the people i associate with.
you are not one of them and that's fine. but please feel free to ignore the things i pose because, i guarantee, they have nothing to do with you. you are not a part of my life and it would be a waste of my energy to worry about what you choose to do.
take care, live happy, and stop worrying about what you think other people are saying or thinking about you. it likely takes more energy than you have to waste on it.
best wishes.
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| =) |
[16 Aug 2007|04:07am] |
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i am sickie. but everything else is great.
mally picked me up from work and we were supposed to visit steve at his show tonight. but i feel like drowsy, cranky poo so we're just watching myth busters and six feet under instead. this is all good with me.
i'm doing QED all month which is good but it kind of kills what's left of the summer. oh well. me and mal are thinking of taking a camping/biking trip in september so that's definitely something to look forward to.
sasha is laying on the floor yelling at me. damned loud cat. she's a little snuggle bunny but MAN is she loud.
and that's about it. just figured i'd throw something on here so i could look back on it and smile at a much later date.
oh yeah, and GET. OVER. YOUR. SELVES.
if this does not apply to you, please ignore. i'm just incredibly sick of people thinking that people care about their "personal" business. if it was truly personal and you didn't want the attention you would keep your mouths shut. i'm also sick of those who think they're so important that they are getting shit on (like NO ONE ELSE IS) and that people are against them. not everyone chooses sides or wastes energy holding a grudge. just FYI.
again, if this does not apply to you, please ignore.
i just can't wait till this drama calms down. sadly, i see a friend being lost permanently.
i guess this is what i get for not choosing sides and not talking shit. =X
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| bah... |
[20 Jul 2007|01:59pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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Follow - Sevendust |
] |
not such a good day, but i'll live. i just hate when everything goes wrong at the worst time.
oh well, i'm going camping with my best friend and the man who, amazingly, puts up with me.
what could be wrong??
see you all wednesday...or something like that. =)
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[07 Jul 2007|06:03pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Killswitch Engage - Numbered Days |
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hm...it's been a while since i've written so i should likely document something. i'm sure i'll be mad at myself later when i go back to see what i was doing this summer and there's nothing there.
Anyway, things have been great.
1. I've been working at Black Magic Tattoo for a while now and it's amazing. I get to hang out with some of my best friends every single day and watch them be brilliant. How much better does it get? =) and I have to admit, I love our customers. Most of them are so great. It's an awesome job and I'm really happy here.
2. I've been dating Mal for about...a little over 2 months and things are great. He's a fantastic man and i'm very very lucky. He makes me smile. =)
3. Mason! Damien and Sue's son Mason James was born on the 27th and he is so beautiful there aren't enough words in the world to desscribe that little guy. He's such a good baby, he looks just like his daddy and they are both absolutely in love with him. Along with everyone else. Man, he's going to be spoiled rotten with all the aunts and uncles he has.
4. Steve's sister came in for part of the week and just left. It was so nice to meet her and I love her to pieces. I'm so glad i won't have to wait long to see her again as we're all going camping in a little less than 2 weeks.
5. Just a little note, I just found out that Tim Burton just made a movie version of the musical Sweeney Todd and i had an aneurysm. DUDE, favorite show of ALL TIME. i'm so excited for december!!
6. I miss Kara and Nicole. My girlies. My partners in crime. They make me smile constantly and I wish my work hours were more similar to theirs so that i could see them more often, but whatever. I guess it just makes any time I do get to spend with them that much more...precious, i guess. Man, i'm cheesy. haha
Well i think that's it. Tomorrow I'm working at QED and then guest bartending at Malones Too on West Liberty Avenue so at least i'll make some money there.
hope all is well with everyone.
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